Today our baby turned 11 weeks old. When I think about it in some ways it has gone by so fast and other ways it seems as if he has been with us forever. We all just fit perfectly together.
I have not mentioned the baby's name because of personal reasons, but starting today he is no longer "the baby" he is JAIDEN! I'm coming out!
My husband chose the name Jaiden for a few reasons. He was sitting at his desk one evening, while I was working on the computer and he turned to me and said, "his name is Jaiden." I have always loved the name Aiden for a boy and the name Jade for a girl, so it worked for me. He said he wanted to honor the birth mother's wishes with the name she gave him, using the J and the D from that name. I loved that my husband was so sensitive to Kelsie. I quickly looked up the name Jaiden. I was joyously surprised that it was a Hebrew name which was very important to us, and then when I read what it meant, instantly I knew this would be our child's name. Jaiden means...God Heard. Now how perfect is that? We really believe this to be true! There was one more hidden sign in his name. There was a J a D an E and an N in the first, middle and last name that his birth mother gave him. A sign fore sure! When I look at our son, the only name that really fits him is Jaiden or Jaide for short.
Every day there is something special that happens, some days many special things happen. Both Jesse and I relish in every moment. If one of us is not around to witness something new we instantly call the other to share the story. Not a day goes by without sharing.
One day we left Jaiden on his "under water sea adventure play mat" (which by the way he loves) and when we returned he had turned himself half way around the mat. We kept looking at each other saying, "did you move him?" Nope neither one of us had moved him, he did it all by himself! The other day Jesse called to say that he had been flaring his nostrils at Jaiden repetitively and Jaiden flared back! I was laughing so hard but was not totally convinced until that night when Jaiden flared for me! It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Sit for a minute and just picture that. He recently learned that if he kicks against something he can move himself. He gets a reaction and boy does that excite him. On Monday he gave me the best birthday gift ever by sleeping 10hrs...I know hard to believe but it is the honest truth. The best part was I never woke up to check on him!
It is truly amazing how much he has changed since the day we met him. For instance he was born with no eye lashes and now they are long, beginning to get full with a curl. I told him, "you're lucky little guy cause you won't have to borrow your Mommy's eyelash curler." He has eyes that twinkle and lashes that flirt.His hands are pudgy and his knuckles have the cutest darn dimples on them that I have ever seen. His thighs are almost the size of a baseball, and I eat them multiple times a day. His hair is beginning to grow back, guessing it is going to brown. It is also worth mentioning that his big toe looks like a thumb! And yes I eat that too!
Jesse and I still love to change his diaper and feed him no matter what time it is. For all of you who said that would get old, it's not. It just gets better. Sometimes I walk past Jaiden's room and I can hear Jesse and him talking. The other morning I stopped to listen and I over heard Jesse say, "I love you Jaiden...I love you Jaiden...then he pronounced every letter of his name...J A I D E N! My heart sang.
Jesse is a remarkable Daddy. Full of love and laughter. He gets down on the ground and interacts with him, making up all kinds of games. He sings and dances with him and is creative in the way he teaches him new things . I am in awe watching him. From the beginning I have always said that Jesse is the "Baby Whisperer" and that's the truth.
I must say that now I have two boys at home. Jaiden is bringing the kid out in Jesse...as if he needed someone to do that. I can see that the future is going to bring fun, fun and more fun.
Get ready Jaiden...Daddy wants to play!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
2 month Dr.'s appointment
Today was the little guys 2 month Dr's appt. He is just short of 2 months by 7 days. The routine during this visit besides weighing in and being checked is vaccinations.
Right after we entered the examining room the nurse told us to take the baby's clothes off including his diaper. Both Jess and I looked at each other like does she know this baby could very easily pee all over the place? That did not seem to bother her, but we were scared. She then told us to place him on the scale. Now just yesterday my parents, Jess and I all guessed his weight and meant to place a bet but we forgot the bet part.
Anyways wouldn't you know it, big Daddy won...yep he guessed his weight by .2 of an ounce. I was off by a pound but whose counting?
The baby weighs 14lbs 2.2oz. and is 23 1/2 in long. Our Doctor was quite impressed and said he is a very healthy baby and to continue what we are doing. Next the Doctor talked to us about the vaccinations and before we knew it the nurse was back in the room with 3 syringes. I was the one that was feeling the pain before the little guy was even stuck. When the nurse put the injection in Jesse held the baby's hands and we both continued to reassure him that everything was okay...and with each injection the baby cried but only for a minute. You ask if I was crying?...nope but I definitely wanted to make it all better right away. The baby fell asleep in Jesse's arms as soon as the nurse was done.
I realized at some point today that we never really had a "newborn." From the beginning our baby was healthy, solid, and not that fragile . He has made it very easy for us new parents to jump right in and not be afraid.
I kissed his owees tonight before I put him down to sleep, probably more for me than for him. I can hardly stand it that I am kissing owees...who would have ever thought it would be so good.
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!
Right after we entered the examining room the nurse told us to take the baby's clothes off including his diaper. Both Jess and I looked at each other like does she know this baby could very easily pee all over the place? That did not seem to bother her, but we were scared. She then told us to place him on the scale. Now just yesterday my parents, Jess and I all guessed his weight and meant to place a bet but we forgot the bet part.
Anyways wouldn't you know it, big Daddy won...yep he guessed his weight by .2 of an ounce. I was off by a pound but whose counting?
The baby weighs 14lbs 2.2oz. and is 23 1/2 in long. Our Doctor was quite impressed and said he is a very healthy baby and to continue what we are doing. Next the Doctor talked to us about the vaccinations and before we knew it the nurse was back in the room with 3 syringes. I was the one that was feeling the pain before the little guy was even stuck. When the nurse put the injection in Jesse held the baby's hands and we both continued to reassure him that everything was okay...and with each injection the baby cried but only for a minute. You ask if I was crying?...nope but I definitely wanted to make it all better right away. The baby fell asleep in Jesse's arms as soon as the nurse was done.
I realized at some point today that we never really had a "newborn." From the beginning our baby was healthy, solid, and not that fragile . He has made it very easy for us new parents to jump right in and not be afraid.
I kissed his owees tonight before I put him down to sleep, probably more for me than for him. I can hardly stand it that I am kissing owees...who would have ever thought it would be so good.
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Smiling
Each day I can not wait to greet the baby in his crib come morning hour.As soon as I can hear him, I quickly run to his room ( cause I can hardly stand it) and am overly delighted to his bright smiling face. Smiling...yes smiling. He smiles every morning when he sees my face. Now that in itself could just melt my heart, but it continues all day long. How did I get to be so lucky? There is nothing quite like it...a smile!
We have been playing, and investigating our new surroundings. Traveled for a few hours the other day on foot with the little one riding in a baby bjourn face out strapped around me. It was so delicious. After about 1/2 hour he feel asleep and I just kept walking bouncing him while he gripped my fingers and listened to me breathing hard as I climbed the hills. Not so easy when you have a 14pd baby strapped on you. Actually not sure how much he weighs but we will find out on Thursday when he has his 2 month Doctor's appt. Yep 2 months. Actually he will be 7 weeks and 4days old on his appt day, but they call it his 2 month appt. I am told he will have a few shots but he can count on Mommy and Daddy being right there to help ease the pain.
Can not believe how fast the time has gone. Here we are at home with a 7 week old. Impossible it seems. Those tortured anxious days of waiting and not knowing are over. Yes there will be other challenging days in our lives but those particular days are over. And I would live through them all over again for the 3 of us to be together.
I layed down on the baby's blanket with him and watched him kick and punch and kick and punch, and swing his arms, and try to eat his fingers wondering what he must be thinking. I do know that he definitely recognizes both Jesse and my voice. He is very sensitive to noise, loves music and can smell his bottle from a mile away.
This was exciting. Saturday late afternoon we attended a party but we were home by 8pm. Partying rock star nights are on hold for now. I gave him a bottle and put him down to sleep at 9:00pm. He did not awake until 5:00am- that's right 8 straight hours of sleep. Now only if I did not check on him a million times to make sure he was still breathing I too would have had an 8 hour sleep. I am hoping that was just the beginning of many many more 8 consecutive hours of sleep.
Sometimes Jess and I will sneak into the baby's room when he is asleep and just listen to the funny noises he makes, and watch his face twitch and body move.Quietly we laugh and pinch each other. Then we must somehow leave his room without waking him, and that is a task in itself because the hardwood floors squeak and if you step on the wrong one, well you wake up the baby. It's become a game for us...getting out of his room. One foot 10feet in front of the other almost doing the splits so not to step on that one squeaky piece of wood floor. Kind of like twister. Last night Jesse got out of the room in 2 steps which truthfully only a pro limbo player could do. Never knew he had it in him. You learn something new every day.
In awe with each day, thankful and more grateful than ever before.
We have been playing, and investigating our new surroundings. Traveled for a few hours the other day on foot with the little one riding in a baby bjourn face out strapped around me. It was so delicious. After about 1/2 hour he feel asleep and I just kept walking bouncing him while he gripped my fingers and listened to me breathing hard as I climbed the hills. Not so easy when you have a 14pd baby strapped on you. Actually not sure how much he weighs but we will find out on Thursday when he has his 2 month Doctor's appt. Yep 2 months. Actually he will be 7 weeks and 4days old on his appt day, but they call it his 2 month appt. I am told he will have a few shots but he can count on Mommy and Daddy being right there to help ease the pain.
Can not believe how fast the time has gone. Here we are at home with a 7 week old. Impossible it seems. Those tortured anxious days of waiting and not knowing are over. Yes there will be other challenging days in our lives but those particular days are over. And I would live through them all over again for the 3 of us to be together.
I layed down on the baby's blanket with him and watched him kick and punch and kick and punch, and swing his arms, and try to eat his fingers wondering what he must be thinking. I do know that he definitely recognizes both Jesse and my voice. He is very sensitive to noise, loves music and can smell his bottle from a mile away.
This was exciting. Saturday late afternoon we attended a party but we were home by 8pm. Partying rock star nights are on hold for now. I gave him a bottle and put him down to sleep at 9:00pm. He did not awake until 5:00am- that's right 8 straight hours of sleep. Now only if I did not check on him a million times to make sure he was still breathing I too would have had an 8 hour sleep. I am hoping that was just the beginning of many many more 8 consecutive hours of sleep.
Sometimes Jess and I will sneak into the baby's room when he is asleep and just listen to the funny noises he makes, and watch his face twitch and body move.Quietly we laugh and pinch each other. Then we must somehow leave his room without waking him, and that is a task in itself because the hardwood floors squeak and if you step on the wrong one, well you wake up the baby. It's become a game for us...getting out of his room. One foot 10feet in front of the other almost doing the splits so not to step on that one squeaky piece of wood floor. Kind of like twister. Last night Jesse got out of the room in 2 steps which truthfully only a pro limbo player could do. Never knew he had it in him. You learn something new every day.
In awe with each day, thankful and more grateful than ever before.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Kelsie
Kelsie turned 17 on Feb 12th. She is a remarkable young girl with so much potential. In the small amount of time that she has been on earth she has endured many challenges and has risen above them. She is wise beyond her years, and savvy in ways only adults understand.
The instant we met I felt a connection. Kelsie is not an over affectionate young girl, and behind that you can feel a sense of not wanting to be disappointed. She is quite guarded and rightfully so, as anyone of us would be had we walked in her shoes.
If you dig deep enough the warmth and love will catch you by surprise. She is raw at times exposing herself, although she never wears it on her sleeve.
I admire her in ways I never knew were possible. Not only is she smart, charming, loving, and mature. She is not afraid to talk about what she feels, which for the most part I have found quite unusual for a 16 now 17 year old. She is brave like only a few I have known, and she is more giving than most of us will ever be.
I don't expect her to understand completely what she has given us, but one day she will. As much as she has given us I do feel we all needed each other equally. It was a perfect match.
Kelsie deserves to have someone encouraging her to be the best she can be, and to give her guidance. She is exceptionally bright and with direction I know she will find her way.
I am profoundly proud of Kelsie and the decision she made just weeks ago to place her child with us. She has given not only us the gift of life, but she has given life to our son. Ultimately by making this decision she has also given life to herself. My hope is that she slowly spreads her wings and allows them to take her on a successful flight. One that her biological son would be proud of.
Today and everyday that follows our hearts will be connected with Kelsie's and we will hold so close to us the remarkable young girl that gave us life.
The instant we met I felt a connection. Kelsie is not an over affectionate young girl, and behind that you can feel a sense of not wanting to be disappointed. She is quite guarded and rightfully so, as anyone of us would be had we walked in her shoes.
If you dig deep enough the warmth and love will catch you by surprise. She is raw at times exposing herself, although she never wears it on her sleeve.
I admire her in ways I never knew were possible. Not only is she smart, charming, loving, and mature. She is not afraid to talk about what she feels, which for the most part I have found quite unusual for a 16 now 17 year old. She is brave like only a few I have known, and she is more giving than most of us will ever be.
I don't expect her to understand completely what she has given us, but one day she will. As much as she has given us I do feel we all needed each other equally. It was a perfect match.
Kelsie deserves to have someone encouraging her to be the best she can be, and to give her guidance. She is exceptionally bright and with direction I know she will find her way.
I am profoundly proud of Kelsie and the decision she made just weeks ago to place her child with us. She has given not only us the gift of life, but she has given life to our son. Ultimately by making this decision she has also given life to herself. My hope is that she slowly spreads her wings and allows them to take her on a successful flight. One that her biological son would be proud of.
Today and everyday that follows our hearts will be connected with Kelsie's and we will hold so close to us the remarkable young girl that gave us life.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
1 month old today
Our beautiful son is one month old today. Unbelievable.
It was only 21 weeks ago that we returned home from the Ukraine devastated. At that point being a parent was a dream that had been shattered. Although in our hearts we believed that it was all going to work out somehow. And here we are today, in our home with a 1 month old.
It is magical what he brings to us. Believe it or not, I have been told recently that I am more gentle more patient and less aggressive. For those of you that know me I am always on...focused...with a mission.
I take it as a compliment.
I have settled into a very flexible routine dictated by the little one. Funny to think that sometimes there are dishes in the sink, and occasionally our bed might not be made, and it's okay. He is giving us permission to forgo the structure and be in the moment. Without hesitation we gladly are taking on the new lifestyle...and it feels wonderful.
In the past month we have changed more diapers than ever before, we have been awaken by the sound of a crying baby, we have stayed awake in the wee hours soothing our child, we have eaten dinner separately in order to feed the little one, and we have shopped in the formula/diaper isle at the grocery store, (used to always skip that isle) . Just a few of the new things we have done in the past month and grateful for the experience.
Today is a very special day- it is Kelsie's 17th birthday. I will dedicate my next blog to her.
I'll write soon- Mommy hears the baby cooing and I don't want to miss it!
It was only 21 weeks ago that we returned home from the Ukraine devastated. At that point being a parent was a dream that had been shattered. Although in our hearts we believed that it was all going to work out somehow. And here we are today, in our home with a 1 month old.
It is magical what he brings to us. Believe it or not, I have been told recently that I am more gentle more patient and less aggressive. For those of you that know me I am always on...focused...with a mission.
I take it as a compliment.
I have settled into a very flexible routine dictated by the little one. Funny to think that sometimes there are dishes in the sink, and occasionally our bed might not be made, and it's okay. He is giving us permission to forgo the structure and be in the moment. Without hesitation we gladly are taking on the new lifestyle...and it feels wonderful.
In the past month we have changed more diapers than ever before, we have been awaken by the sound of a crying baby, we have stayed awake in the wee hours soothing our child, we have eaten dinner separately in order to feed the little one, and we have shopped in the formula/diaper isle at the grocery store, (used to always skip that isle) . Just a few of the new things we have done in the past month and grateful for the experience.
Today is a very special day- it is Kelsie's 17th birthday. I will dedicate my next blog to her.
I'll write soon- Mommy hears the baby cooing and I don't want to miss it!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Our Miracle
2 days ago our son turned 4 weeks old. Boy did that go fast. Each day we relish in this miracle, as we watch him change, learn, and interact with us.
For the most part he drinks a 4 oz bottle every 2-3 hours, plays for awhile, and sleeps. He definately knows when it is night time, the feedings are less, and he goes right back to sleep without a peep...okay well sometimes there is a peep.
The baby has been sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed, and when he wakes at night to feed, I take him in his room so that I don't wake Jess up.
On Monday morning at his 4am feeding I laid him down for the first time in his newly built crib for 1 minute so I could wet a wash cloth. When I returned in less than a minute he was sound asleep. No sheet, no bedding, just our beautiful son in his crib...sleeping! Sounds to me like he likes his crib. I woke this morning to find him talking to himself, just checking out the scenery. I was so amused that I just stood there listening, trying to figure out what he was saying. To the best of my deciphering skills I would say he he was trying to tell me how happy he is.
The three of us are now a family. Family has always been extremely important to me. The unit in which one grows and learns. I grew up in a wonderful family with 3 sisters of whom one is my twin, and two extraordinary people who I call my parents. My parents instilled in us to always be our best. To recognize and embrace the differences we all have. They exposed us to different cultures, different types of people, and more importantly they taught us that each of us could make a difference.
It was never an unusual thought for me to adopt a child. I never questioned what my love for an adopted child would be like. In my heart I always knew my child whether he came from my tummy or not would be mine and that I would love him unconditionally and protect him always.
We have already started to talk to our son about his adoption. There are many different philosophy's on how and when to approach the subject. For Jess and I it feels natural to simply talk about it. Our feelings are that if we give him the pieces of the puzzle to put together he will be less likely to imagine and create ideas about his adoption. We intend to give him as much information as he needs.
I want my child to grow up feeling proud of his adopted status. I want him to positively identify himself as our child. To teach others whose shallow thinking may inhibit them from extending themselves wholeheartedly. I want my son to move gracefully among people's prejudices. I will prepare him for a world where not everyone may see him this way. But one thing is foresure he will always be our child!
Our son has already taught us tremendous lessons about believing, about love, hope and about dreaming. Lessons that one day we will teach him.
It's great to be Mommy and Daddy!
For the most part he drinks a 4 oz bottle every 2-3 hours, plays for awhile, and sleeps. He definately knows when it is night time, the feedings are less, and he goes right back to sleep without a peep...okay well sometimes there is a peep.
The baby has been sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed, and when he wakes at night to feed, I take him in his room so that I don't wake Jess up.
On Monday morning at his 4am feeding I laid him down for the first time in his newly built crib for 1 minute so I could wet a wash cloth. When I returned in less than a minute he was sound asleep. No sheet, no bedding, just our beautiful son in his crib...sleeping! Sounds to me like he likes his crib. I woke this morning to find him talking to himself, just checking out the scenery. I was so amused that I just stood there listening, trying to figure out what he was saying. To the best of my deciphering skills I would say he he was trying to tell me how happy he is.
The three of us are now a family. Family has always been extremely important to me. The unit in which one grows and learns. I grew up in a wonderful family with 3 sisters of whom one is my twin, and two extraordinary people who I call my parents. My parents instilled in us to always be our best. To recognize and embrace the differences we all have. They exposed us to different cultures, different types of people, and more importantly they taught us that each of us could make a difference.
It was never an unusual thought for me to adopt a child. I never questioned what my love for an adopted child would be like. In my heart I always knew my child whether he came from my tummy or not would be mine and that I would love him unconditionally and protect him always.
We have already started to talk to our son about his adoption. There are many different philosophy's on how and when to approach the subject. For Jess and I it feels natural to simply talk about it. Our feelings are that if we give him the pieces of the puzzle to put together he will be less likely to imagine and create ideas about his adoption. We intend to give him as much information as he needs.
I want my child to grow up feeling proud of his adopted status. I want him to positively identify himself as our child. To teach others whose shallow thinking may inhibit them from extending themselves wholeheartedly. I want my son to move gracefully among people's prejudices. I will prepare him for a world where not everyone may see him this way. But one thing is foresure he will always be our child!
Our son has already taught us tremendous lessons about believing, about love, hope and about dreaming. Lessons that one day we will teach him.
It's great to be Mommy and Daddy!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Finally 3
WHOO HOO- It is official- we have a son!
How long have we wanted to be 3? Years. Our adoption process began in the parking lot of Kaiser hospital on a warm afternoon in 2004. A day I will never forget...the day we knew we would never be pregnant.
Since that time we have put our efforts towards adopting a child, without ever dreaming it would take us so long to find our son. I never imagined our child to be a newborn, my idea was different. Now I can not imagine missing out on the first 21days of our sons life. It has been wondrous.
As I said before the brick walls are not there to keep us out just to show us how much we want something. And boy did we want a child. For those of you that have followed our journey you know how many walls we hit along the way. I can honestly say that every wall was worth the last 21 days!
Both Jess and I woke up this morning feeling completely uneasy. Of all days we wanted this day to pass quickly, but each hour seemed to drag on. I kept myself busy doing things around the house and tried not to look at the clock every five minutes. At a few different times during the day my heart began to race uncontrollably as if I was going to have a panic attack. Somehow I talked myself into a normal breathing pattern and became calm.
It was around 4:30 when we received a message from Deb in Minnesota saying, "congratulations, it's official." For some reason we thought we needed to wait until midnight tonight for it to be official, but thank goodness we were wrong. Kelsie had up until 4:30pm Minnesota time today to change her mind. What an incredible gift this young girl has given us...our gift to her will be that we raise a productive, responsible, loving human being.
Again I am reminded of the pieces of the puzzle that had to come together to make this all happen...it is a miracle!
Jesse and I are resonating in the powerful exchange of life. An abundance of deep emotions surfacing. The three of us will now embark on this new journey together.
Thanks to all of you across the US who helped to manifest the positive energy that carried us to this point. Believing that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to.
Going to smooch the baby and squeeze my husband and tell him how thankful I am of him that he never gave up, even after his heart was broken.
I will write again soon- so much to say- All our love
How long have we wanted to be 3? Years. Our adoption process began in the parking lot of Kaiser hospital on a warm afternoon in 2004. A day I will never forget...the day we knew we would never be pregnant.
Since that time we have put our efforts towards adopting a child, without ever dreaming it would take us so long to find our son. I never imagined our child to be a newborn, my idea was different. Now I can not imagine missing out on the first 21days of our sons life. It has been wondrous.
As I said before the brick walls are not there to keep us out just to show us how much we want something. And boy did we want a child. For those of you that have followed our journey you know how many walls we hit along the way. I can honestly say that every wall was worth the last 21 days!
Both Jess and I woke up this morning feeling completely uneasy. Of all days we wanted this day to pass quickly, but each hour seemed to drag on. I kept myself busy doing things around the house and tried not to look at the clock every five minutes. At a few different times during the day my heart began to race uncontrollably as if I was going to have a panic attack. Somehow I talked myself into a normal breathing pattern and became calm.
It was around 4:30 when we received a message from Deb in Minnesota saying, "congratulations, it's official." For some reason we thought we needed to wait until midnight tonight for it to be official, but thank goodness we were wrong. Kelsie had up until 4:30pm Minnesota time today to change her mind. What an incredible gift this young girl has given us...our gift to her will be that we raise a productive, responsible, loving human being.
Again I am reminded of the pieces of the puzzle that had to come together to make this all happen...it is a miracle!
Jesse and I are resonating in the powerful exchange of life. An abundance of deep emotions surfacing. The three of us will now embark on this new journey together.
Thanks to all of you across the US who helped to manifest the positive energy that carried us to this point. Believing that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to.
Going to smooch the baby and squeeze my husband and tell him how thankful I am of him that he never gave up, even after his heart was broken.
I will write again soon- so much to say- All our love
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